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  • Originally posted by jimmie ray View Post

    So many bad jokes could be made on this one... have you seen the latest craze, with bows tattoed high up on the back of women's legs?
    haha yea Iv seen them. Flowers on feet are in now too.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by zimonami View Post
      She ripped me a new one because they were women, not girls.
      My mom was brutally honest. She said when it came to criticizing women's appearance or clothes choice she learned it wasn't worth the grief to be honest.
      I remember we had discussed this, before. Just wait until these women are called "Ma'am" - my wife said that was the worst day of her life, the first time. I never use that word, and always call older women "Girls". Many tell me I just made their day.
      I will admit to getting edgy with counter guys who refer to me as "Chief" or "Boss". It's a little joke amongst guys at heating supply houses, but hard to let fly for me. I had some punk recently at a pizza place call me Chief, and I brought it to the owner. He whacked the guy in the back of the head, but seriously - how is that appropriate to say to a paying customer?

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      • Originally posted by dezzzR View Post

        haha yea Iv seen them. Flowers on feet are in now too.
        I'm not into feet, so that doesn't sound so bad. Other body parts or the face, that has natural beauty, I don't understand ****ing up with tattoes or chunks of metal.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by jimmie ray View Post

          I'm not into feet, so that doesn't sound so bad. Other body parts or the face, that has natural beauty, I don't understand ****ing up with tattoes or chunks of metal.
          I think it depends. Some people add tattoos or piercings for the sake of it and little thought. Getting bad tatoos is terrible no matter where, but I have seen many times when a facial tatoo or piercing is a nice accent, no different than adding make-up really, just more permanent. It very much is like adding make up though, when done well it can really bring out the best and most attractive traits, when done poorly it just makes you cringe.

          But we've staryed away from the point, why is honesty less desirable than pleasent falsehoods? I may lack tact, but really, I would rather have someone say to me "My god, what kind of creature attacked your hair?" after visiting my stylist than someone think that and tell me they like it. Why would any rational person rather be lied to about something that everyone else can see?

          Zim, as you know I worked as a server and bartender for a very long time and people get so sketchy about what they are called. After getting looks, or sniffed at whenever I called someone ma'am enough times I stopped and started calling every female customer "miss". I found guys didn't care what you call them for the most part, or didn't listen to it. A few times people even got upset with miss, but fewer so I stuck with it. One person who didn't like it went off on me about calling her miss and after she finished raving, I said, "I am sorry, in what way would you prefer being addressed?" She says, "I don't know why you have to address me as anything, I have a name, I am a person, I am a customer, not some person here to bother you. If you had a brain in your head you would know this. Of course if you had a brain in that airy head of yours girly you wouldn't be serving me food and begging for tips to earn money."

          Comment


          • Originally posted by jmike View Post

            I think it depends. Some people add tattoos or piercings for the sake of it and little thought. Getting bad tatoos is terrible no matter where, but I have seen many times when a facial tatoo or piercing is a nice accent, no different than adding make-up really, just more permanent. It very much is like adding make up though, when done well it can really bring out the best and most attractive traits, when done poorly it just makes you cringe.

            But we've staryed away from the point, why is honesty less desirable than pleasent falsehoods? I may lack tact, but really, I would rather have someone say to me "My god, what kind of creature attacked your hair?" after visiting my stylist than someone think that and tell me they like it. Why would any rational person rather be lied to about something that everyone else can see?

            Zim, as you know I worked as a server and bartender for a very long time and people get so sketchy about what they are called. After getting looks, or sniffed at whenever I called someone ma'am enough times I stopped and started calling every female customer "miss". I found guys didn't care what you call them for the most part, or didn't listen to it. A few times people even got upset with miss, but fewer so I stuck with it. One person who didn't like it went off on me about calling her miss and after she finished raving, I said, "I am sorry, in what way would you prefer being addressed?" She says, "I don't know why you have to address me as anything, I have a name, I am a person, I am a customer, not some person here to bother you. If you had a brain in your head you would know this. Of course if you had a brain in that airy head of yours girly you wouldn't be serving me food and begging for tips to earn money."
            There's different levels to a persons appearance, in terms of what they have control of, and what they created and can or can't easily rectify. A hairstyle can be easily changed, so it shouldn't be a big deal to make a comment on. Something a person is born with, or develops, may not be correctable or easily addressed - most of us obviously know not to just blurt out something about these things. A tattoo, while permanent for the most part, was that person's poor decision, and seems like fair game if you are genuinely disturbed or think they need a wakeup. Just my thoughts.
            I don't remember ever introducing ourselves to a waiter or waitress - so how would you know what name to call them, and how could they assume you would remember all your customers' names? "Miss" and "Sir" sound appropriate to me. Seems the management would train you on the appropriate greetings? I've heard some waitresses use "Sweetie" or "Hon" - but I guess they just can't help themselves when they look me over.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by jmike View Post
              Zim, as you know I worked as a server and bartender for a very long time and people get so sketchy about what they are called. After getting looks, or sniffed at whenever I called someone ma'am enough times I stopped and started calling every female customer "miss". I found guys didn't care what you call them for the most part, or didn't listen to it. A few times people even got upset with miss, but fewer so I stuck with it. One person who didn't like it went off on me about calling her miss and after she finished raving, I said, "I am sorry, in what way would you prefer being addressed?" She says, "I don't know why you have to address me as anything, I have a name, I am a person, I am a customer, not some person here to bother you. If you had a brain in your head you would know this. Of course if you had a brain in that airy head of yours girly you wouldn't be serving me food and begging for tips to earn money."
              I guess it never dawned on her that she didn't advise you of her name, if that is what she preferred. I think a 'miss' or ma'am is far more polite and comfortable than ignoring to acknowledge them at all. I think she deserved a punch in the face for what she said. Of course that comes with a loss of your job, and some people are extra rude because they know it.
              A brain? Ha... I'll bet that roasted you. She deserved just a little drool in her drink.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by jimmie ray View Post

                There's different levels to a persons appearance, in terms of what they have control of, and what they created and can or can't easily rectify. A hairstyle can be easily changed, so it shouldn't be a big deal to make a comment on. Something a person is born with, or develops, may not be correctable or easily addressed - most of us obviously know not to just blurt out something about these things. A tattoo, while permanent for the most part, was that person's poor decision, and seems like fair game if you are genuinely disturbed or think they need a wakeup. Just my thoughts.
                I don't remember ever introducing ourselves to a waiter or waitress - so how would you know what name to call them, and how could they assume you would remember all your customers' names? "Miss" and "Sir" sound appropriate to me. Seems the management would train you on the appropriate greetings? I've heard some waitresses use "Sweetie" or "Hon" - but I guess they just can't help themselves when they look me over.
                I didn't know her name and it was their first visit to the restaurant according to them. I just found it ironic that I had introduced myself by name and she called me "girly", which IMO is deliberately insulting and dismissive. Though I couldn't honestly say her calling me that actually bothered me at all, but I didn't enjoy a mild chuckle at the irony of it.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by zimonami View Post
                  I guess it never dawned on her that she didn't advise you of her name, if that is what she preferred. I think a 'miss' or ma'am is far more polite and comfortable than ignoring to acknowledge them at all. I think she deserved a punch in the face for what she said. Of course that comes with a loss of your job, and some people are extra rude because they know it.
                  A brain? Ha... I'll bet that roasted you. She deserved just a little drool in her drink.

                  I didn't do anything to her, I quietly hoped she had asked for my manager, because I would have gotten just gotten chef and he likely would have simply called her a hag to her face and told her she is welcome to leave. He is a lot less tactful than even I am, probably why we have always got along so well. Well that and I wouldn't break down in tears when he verbally abused me like many other servers. He was a bit of an *** when the kitchen was busy.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by jmike View Post

                    I didn't know her name and it was their first visit to the restaurant according to them. I just found it ironic that I had introduced myself by name and she called me "girly", which IMO is deliberately insulting and dismissive. Though I couldn't honestly say her calling me that actually bothered me at all, but I didn't enjoy a mild chuckle at the irony of it.
                    Since you were in the business, what do you think about a customer letting you know their name, and expecting you to remember and use it? We've never done that - it seems like a bit much, especially if the place is busy.
                    The pizza guy who called me "Chief", that's purposely insulting and dismissive to me. I phoned in the order for Jim, and gave him my name once again, when I walked up to the counter. And there were no other customers there. I pointed out to the owner one possible reason for not having any business.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by jmike View Post

                      I didn't know her name and it was their first visit to the restaurant according to them. I just found it ironic that I had introduced myself by name and she called me "girly", which IMO is deliberately insulting and dismissive. Though I couldn't honestly say her calling me that actually bothered me at all, but I didn't enjoy a mild chuckle at the irony of it.
                      Ya' know, sometimes you just run into an ******* who is going to be an ******* no matter how respectful you treat them. That she called you 'girly', while she expected respect in return, tells it all. Yes, ironic. "Girly' has always been a disrespectful title, to me. Don't ya just wish you had a free shot at aholes like that? hahaha

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by zimonami View Post

                        Ya' know, sometimes you just run into an ******* who is going to be an ******* no matter how respectful you treat them.



                        "Sir, I was wondering: did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?"
                        "No...I didn't."
                        "Oh it was most exhilarating: the Giants of NY took on the Packers of Green Bay and in the end the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big H. It was a most ripping victory."

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by jimmie ray View Post

                          Since you were in the business, what do you think about a customer letting you know their name, and expecting you to remember and use it? We've never done that - it seems like a bit much, especially if the place is busy.
                          The pizza guy who called me "Chief", that's purposely insulting and dismissive to me. I phoned in the order for Jim, and gave him my name once again, when I walked up to the counter. And there were no other customers there. I pointed out to the owner one possible reason for not having any business.
                          Your name should have been on the order receipt for instant recall. A person in his position should definitely be respectful to every customer, and to call them by name, when they have access to it, should be expected by their manager. But, a bartender? They might see dozens of new faces on any evening. When I make a sales call and have 3 or 4, or more engineers sitting down with me, and they go around the horn introducing themselves... I'm in trouble. Even if I repeat it and think on it a second time, I'm in trouble. I can clearly remember the exact location and person that taught me how to tie my shoes 66 years ago, but I can't remember where I put my coffee cup 10 minutes ago. I think they call it short term memory... lol. Like my friends say when I forget something... have another toke, zim.
                          I was raised to call any man, 'sir' whose name I don't know, and I do that even to much younger men that I often deal with. "Chief' is disrespectful, imo, but I do know guys who think it is cool to call other guys by that name... so, maybe he just needs someone to smarten him up.... like his manager.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by jimmie ray View Post

                            Since you were in the business, what do you think about a customer letting you know their name, and expecting you to remember and use it? We've never done that - it seems like a bit much, especially if the place is busy.
                            The pizza guy who called me "Chief", that's purposely insulting and dismissive to me. I phoned in the order for Jim, and gave him my name once again, when I walked up to the counter. And there were no other customers there. I pointed out to the owner one possible reason for not having any business.
                            When I was younger "Chief" was a very common term used by the boys where I lived in the same way they used "bro" or "dude" or whatever familiar non-specific term. Used without the knowledge by likely all of them that some people might find it offensive. On occasion when I heard someone say it, I would inform them of that fact and every single one of them was shocked, didn't realize, never even occured to them and then stopped using it. Sometimes words are picked up in common vernaular for one reason or another without any knowledge of where they derrived.


                            There are several guests that I did know their names, but since you meet so many, there were very few. The ones that are particularly chatty, and come in very regularly and likely ask for specific servers; you generally learn and remember their names. But the person who comes in every other Thursday and gets different servers at random, best you can hope for is they will remember your order or drink if you get the same thing every time. Which with regulars, I have found the great majority of them come in and order the same exact item every time. Which causes an issue because restaurants need to change their menus fairly regularly to keep things fresh and to keep the cooks from wanting to open a vein after working someplace for 2 years. You may lose a regular many times becasue of that, so you want to recognize their faces and match them to their order, names aren't as important. This is why chef always came to the servers and asked what things must stay on the menu and why. Sometimes he would eliminate them anyway because they would retain the ability to make it, even if not printed on the menu. Regulars who came for the same thing would ask for their regular item nearly every time in hopes it would still be available just for them. This helps them feel special that the kitchen would make a special case for them.

                            What we would do when a regular came in and asked for their regular item, the answer was simple. Of course we can continue to make tham what they have always enjoyed and would be happy to do so, but I think you will love "insert new menu item that would appeal to their pallet" and if you are willing to try the new item chef will make it up for few because he really wants your opinion on the new menu. Often times this would become their new favorite and only occasionally they would ask for their old one, knowing we will do it for them. People don't realize how much a good server is a good salesperson and customer service rep all in one. I also found, most of the good ones really don't like people so they are generally unbothered when someone acts like an ******* since they already assumed you were one. Its much easier to pretend to be friendly and happy to see your customers all the time, then to only have to pretend sometimes because normally you are friendly and happy to see the customers.

                            So that server/customer service rep/salesperson/cashier/clerk who is so friendly and nice every time you see them, perpetually in a good mood; they probably think you're an *******.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by zimonami View Post

                              Ya' know, sometimes you just run into an ******* who is going to be an ******* no matter how respectful you treat them. That she called you 'girly', while she expected respect in return, tells it all. Yes, ironic. "Girly' has always been a disrespectful title, to me. Don't ya just wish you had a free shot at aholes like that? hahaha
                              Meh, don't really care much. If that is what I have to deal with as far as poor treatment is concerned, life is pretty good overall.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by jmike View Post

                                There are several guests that I did know their names, but since you meet so many, there were very few. The ones that are particularly chatty, and come in very regularly and likely ask for specific servers; you generally learn and remember their names. But the person who comes in every other Thursday and gets different servers at random, best you can hope for is they will remember your order or drink if you get the same thing every time. Which with regulars, I have found the great majority of them come in and order the same exact item every time.
                                .



                                "Sir, I was wondering: did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?"
                                "No...I didn't."
                                "Oh it was most exhilarating: the Giants of NY took on the Packers of Green Bay and in the end the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big H. It was a most ripping victory."

                                Comment

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