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That's unfair. I know everything. One thing that I know for certain is that I am the most handsome gentleman on this board. Picture the hottest guy you can think of, and then multiply it by...

Yes, really. Trust me, I know. I am always right about everything.

The joke of course being that he does in fact look goofy.

Well played, sir.

Not yet. I was waiting in line at the hospital today, but the line was too long. Keith Richards, Gary Busey, and Macaulay Culkin were ahead of me in line.

... 1 to "Running With The Devil" by Van Halen, how much of a rocking season is Justin Tyron having?

I know. He's gotten taller since the start of his career.

No I meant Rex Grossman. But also Brandon Weeden. Once those two retire, I think the Giants chances go way up.

Uh, what did you fix exactly?

You're not supposed to understand. I was making a math joke about prime numbers and composite numbers.

You really think he'll win the next 6 Super Bowls in a row? It won't be easy with Rex Grossman still around...

Finally, someone as intelligent as I.

Right now he's in his composite. He's not in his prime quite yet. To really prove himself even a half decent quarterback, he needs to win the next 6 Super Bowls all in a row. Until he does that,...

This may be a bit random, but if you haven't seen my 1986 film The Color of Money, then at least check out this Eric Clapton music video of the movie. The song is "It's In The Way That You Use It."...

Ah, no. I was Chris Farley, but after I died, I was resurrected in Paul Newman's body and live on.

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

You'd be surprised what I can do sonny. I'm Fast Eddie Felson. All things are possible.

Honestly, it's not only that I'm better looking than Victor Cruz it's just that I'm a far better dancer and wide receiver. I know I'm not a pro athlete, but if I wanted to, trust me, I could do it...