Like seriously... was that necessary?I guess you could say that this marvel has saved my life on more than one occasion. When people talk about super hero's who do they say? Spiderman, Batman, Ironman, even the occasional Aquaman(not a real superhero, I mean really), but no the hero of my life is the Hutzler 571 Banana slicer.
Here is my story:
Once upon a time in the distant land of Port, that is Portland, I came across a villainous fiend who had beaten a woman to death. With what you say! None other than a banana! (Insert Dramatic Music) After accidentally alerting this man I asked him why he would do such a thing? He then proceeded to attack me with the banana. His justification for this act was he couldn't cut his banana into even slices! Sympathizing for this poor poor man, I forgave his actions, and gave him advice. "Buy the Hutzler 571 Banana slicer," now this man coming to his wits heeded my warning and listened to me. Who is this man you ask? I know him as Barry, but you may know him as the 44th president of the United States Barack Obama. Trust me, this device is the greatest thing to ever happen to the world.
And I would never want a banana slicer like this, EVER.
Why not cut the banana?