So now the reason for the Patriots bringing Tim Tebow into their fold is clear, as an evolving plot by owner Robert Kraft begins to surface. You see, Russian President Vlad Putin stole Kraft's Superbowl ring in 2005, saying it would be "fun to kill someone with it". Intimidated by KGB agents at the time, and then U.S. President Bush, who requested that Kraft pretend it was a gift in order to maintain relations. For the next 8 years, Kraft quietly seethed - waiting for a deliverer, who could return the precious ring. Finally, a chosen one with such intense spirituality that he could impersonate The Pope, infiltrate Putin's fortress, and in the obligatory exchange of ring kissing... suck that stolen object right off his finger, then run 80 yards through any defenders, to a suped up Popemobile outside! Brilliant!!!